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Issues such as detriment to self-esteem and identity came up frequently, especially when people came to feel like they were only being seen for their ethnicity. Min affirms these experiences are definitely linked to racism. He also believes Asian gay men collectively experience exclusion and negative exchanges in the wider gay community. I feel like this pearl of wisdom held a lot of validity and truth behind it. What were the incomplete perceptions of gay Asians that were floating around, and how did other gay guys negotiate their world?
But at what point did fetishisation and attraction differentiate? He thinks this fosters sexual racism from others and from within. Joe suggests that after accepting themselves as gay, there is a second coming of age where one comes to accept and embrace their Asian heritage — just as he has.
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When Peter returned, he felt more proud of his cultural identity and started to see that discrimination was the problem, not him. As we talk further, he speaks about a hypothetical power imbalance.
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He wants people to be attracted to him independent of his race. Interestingly though, he has started to become attracted to other Asian guys after he gained respect and acceptance in his cultural heritage. I could tell he was confident and also a bit older before I approached him.
He has also told them why he thinks this rejection pattern occurs: It takes a while to understand but it starts to dawn on me that this topic is a lot more complicated than I anticipated. Jae appears easy-going about this topic and brushes it off as being open-minded. He says his attraction to Asians is similar to asking why people were attracted to men in general. I never thought to question this but I think that in itself speaks more about the problem.